* MANY YEARS LATER ... *



#3 YOU WOULDN’T LIKE ME

The first day in a new school is never the best one. She knew it already from her experience. Moreover, for her this was just another schoolish school. For her there were white walls, some teachers, and some lessons, masses of young people which she did not intent to learn deeply and who she would traditionally leave after one school year without any good-bye. Generally, goodbyes were not her strength. It was easier to do as if she would come back after the summer holidays and then nobody had a problem with it. Then she saved up many questions and this was the most important aspect of it. Anyway: how should she take a goodbye from people who barely knew her? She knew almost everything about them at the end of school year and they did not know much about her. It was almost her ritual.

Then she was not one of them. She was not the type of girl who has loving and warm parents, eats mushroom soup self-made by mother, argues with father, plays with the family’s dog and has smiley-face posters on her wall. Some people are just broken inside and unbreakable outside. In addition, she did not establish any friendships. It was not her book.

For her new class mates, this time in Warsaw, it was not as easy and open. Everybody in the class knew there is a new pupil coming to town and everybody was curious what kind of person she is. Changes did not pass here as often as somewhere else did. People talked about it over a week, because the mother of Marta, the school nurse, shared this secret with her daughter and spreading news in a small school is not a very hard task. The last person who got the news was Tomek, who preferred to play soccer than to sit with girls and hear the gossip. Guys interests in sports started to get in conflict with another need: to get a girl who was your own girl. It was the silly age where you just have to think about your first love, about your first kiss and about girls who tried for the first time to put on some good make up and to wear high heels. Of course, you had to stay calm about it, because such secrets should not become a weapon in wrong hands! In such mood the third class of Polish High School named after Szymborska, a Nobel Prize winner in literature, started this week.

This class was apparently calm. Tutor was not there until now and everybody knew already the stories from holidays, because one day after the beginning of school year was the point of time where you already got to see some pics from Christopher who was in Ireland or Martha who was in Paris for a week. Everybody knew, Justyna stayed the whole time here, in Warsaw, and had to look after her brother and sister. The only new thing in the air was the new pupil, which has the most daily, and boring name that you even did not try to remember it. Kowalska is just like Smith and you should be happy that you do not call such person Ms Doe. In addition, from another perspective she did not expect this city would hold her longer than she already planned. When she had at least a bad feeling, she would never come here.

Just Wiola, called by friends Viola, a blond wonder of nature and the class speaker since two years, one of the most beautiful girls in the class and even in the 2 million citizens’ city, who knew the rare tricks of dating boys, the one who always knew the best solution in matters with boys, did not seem to be so happy. But as a professional she did not show why her mood is not as great as on any other day. She was sitting among others and she chewed on her lip.

Gosia, rather a bad candidate for clothes in the size zero or playing a leading role in High School Musical, was telling more jokes than anyone here was. Everybody was laughing and remembering the holidays, which seemed to be so far away from reality like the earth and the moon. Martha was speaking about her hunting results in Montmartre, one of the city parts in Paris. Boys were talking about cars, Formula 1 and football (what else?) and about their efforts in driving school. Christopher wanted to take the car of his brother to practice some things this evening.

At the same moment she already thought: another schoolish school.

Then into the classroom came Mrs Polanska and she looked around slowly. After some seconds, she already knew who was missing. One of these persons was the new girl. Moreover, Mrs Polanska had the honour to inform her pupils about the new girl.

- Darlings, I know you already miss holidays, but do concentrate, please.

The youth was smiling and one of boys said:

-At the ceremony at the end of the school year we are always present.
-Yes, I know. I would rather see you all during the school time and not just once a year.

Mrs Polanska wanted to spread the news and she had noticed already that her pupils knew this news. The nervous atmosphere was not present in the class. She added quickly and just by the way:

-So, from now on there are more pupils in your class. We have a new girl. Her name is Kowalska, and her first name is Emilia. She should come today and I hope you will like her.

Viola moved a little bit as she heard the name of the new girl and by the first name she moved even more. She had a bad feeling that the person who is coming to this class will be the person she already knew. And she was not so happy about it.

Other people showed a little bit of enthusiasm, finally they should not know until then about a new classmate. In addition, they were a little bit enthusiastic about the new one. They already knew each other from the primary school and not later than three years ago, they all started High School and knew each other well. Their school was a part of a school complex - the smallest one and the most hidden between old oaks. Excluding this High School there was a bigger primary school. The kids did not disturb anybody, because they had their buildings and the High School had its own.

In the meanwhile, Emilia Kowalska did not show up. She was walking right now among one of the main streets in Warsaw and admired Nowy Targ and other sightseeings. The Warsaw Castle was not as pretty as she was waiting for it to be. She preferred Cracovia with its atmosphere of the Middle Ages and full of artists’ souls. Here she was missing any atmosphere. She walked step by step and was thinking about the new school.

It became already her tradition to leave out the first official day in her new school with its whole ceremonies and official parts. She hated it. Mostly it was the first day after holidays, because she preferred not to be the only attraction of the day and after holidays there is always so much to talk about and she was not such a surprise then. Now she thought she wanted to rest more after the house moving. She was almost 17 and her grandmother was with every year older and had not enough strength to deal with any further replacement. Besides, this time grandmother said it should be her last house moving. If Mia wanted to study next (in two years), she had still an open way to move on. However, grandmother was just twisted nerved by this whole action, which was repeated year by year. Now there was a condition: two years in one city and then do whatever you want.

Mia did not want to build contacts with her class mates, because she knew already from the beginning that she was going to leave the place she was currently living in for a year and she already lost so much that she did not want to lose more. She was not interested in things, which were important for girls - like make up, shopping and parties. She did not want to start any relationship, because she was convinced she was screwed for the eternity. She did not know why, but she had her history, her memories and did not want to share them with anybody.

Any kind of feeling was already gone away. The fresh air and walking through the new city were the best medicine. She did not want to think about her experiences and parts of thought she tried so hard to delete from her memory. She had to be always prepared. She did not know exactly for what, but she knew there was a person in the world, which she never ever wanted to see. She was escaping from the past and this past had the real annoying feature to catch her anytime she thought it is calm enough.

She did not have to think about excuses, because she always could say „I did not know where my class room is and you know, the new city, the new surroundings and girls just don’t get it with the timeframe and so…”. It worked great every time she had to use it. But she already knew best the plan of school, she already knew her timetable. She already memorized it as she was in this school to give her documents and write in for the next year. She chose the school with a good educational level and was prepared for any test. There was no test. When tutors looked at her notes, there were no reasons to be afraid about IQ of the new pupil. There was not any negative notice about her, either. She was always a perfect, unproblematic case.

Furthermore, this girl was interesting because of another reason: some of her data was governmentally protected. You could just see the last education’s placement and some other data, but nothing else. Teachers just asked her some questions and it was rather a formal thing than necessary. Thereby Mia had the opportunity to get to know the new school and one time would be enough to memorize everything she had to know. She knew how many exits there were, how you could get there in the fastest and slowest way and such things. It was a routine. She did her homework well. However, nobody should notice it.

Currently - as she was walking through the capital - she could not give a chance to her new class mates to get to know her. Not now.



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